The Fantastic Ms. Four Eyes‏

I've needed glasses since I was about ten and have worn them every day since I was about 22. The years in between I wore them sporadically, mostly for watching tv/movies, seeing in class, and driving.

Now I fully embrace being a glasses wearer. I love wearing them, which is a good thing because I look WEIRD without them. My friend Gina, also an always glasses wearer, wore contacts on her wedding day and she looked beautiful in her dress and all that, but she didn't look like herself without her glasses.

My glasses only come off when I sleep, shower, or make out. I guess if I ever found occasion to go swimming I'd take them off for that too. Up until very recently I didn't wear glasses for reading, but I must be getting old because now I need them even for reading a book ten inches away from my face.

One time when my old boyfriend (also a glasses wearer) and I were in Las Vegas, a group of drunk frat boys walked by and one of them asked us, really loudly, "Are you guys nerds?" It was kind of bizarre. What a strange thing for a complete stranger to say.

Here's a tip for non-glasses wearers who just don't get it: glasses don't make me a nerd, they allow me to clearly see the world around me. Is sight nerdy? Then call me Poindexter.

This doesn't actually have anything to do with Devo

You know how Mark Mothersbaugh is like the coolest and he's responsible for so much cool music? That's right, I said "like the coolest." Do you furthermore know that he owns his particular look, embodied by his glasses? As far as I know he has never made this claim, but I am. No one else is allowed to wear those glasses, only Mark Mothersbaugh. That's just the way it is.

Do you know this guy named Randall Poster who is "music supervisor" for tons of movies with really great music? At first I though he was like the coolest too, but then when I actually saw what he looks like, I totally changed my tune. He's trying to pull off Mark Mothersbaugh glasses! Not ok, Randall Poster, NOT OK. That look belongs to one person and one person only.

Plus I think a music supervisor for a movie just obtains rights for songs that the director wants in the movie, which is a pretty pedestrian task, so he no longer impresses me. There is no denying the fact that he is attached to some impressive film/movie combos, but he killed whatever chance he had with me when he chose those frames. More like Randall Poser.