I push miracle whips

I'm on a sandwich kick but had sadly run out of Miracle Whip, and a sandwich just isn't a sandwich without the tangy zip of that Miracle Whip salad dressing, so I dropped by the grocery to pick up some more today after work.

As I was checking out, the cashier asked me "What you gonna do, go home and use this to make a whole bunch of sandwiches?"

I answered "Yes, over time, I will use it to make a whole bunch of sandwiches."

Doesn't it seem weird that she asked me that? Buying just a jar of mayonnaise doesn't strike me as question- or comment-worthy.

I wonder if I had been getting a big thing of ketchup if she would have asked me if I was going to go home and use it with a whole bunch of fries.

Sunday Night in Los Angeles

Who were the two cutest girls in all of Los Angeles on Sunday night?

These gals.

CEE LO AT THE GRAMMYS!!

Jill took this picture of Cee Lo as he walked right past our seats.
He was very happy and smiley and shook people's hands and stuff.

Another Jill-taken Cee Lo picture.


This was during Cee Lo's performance with Gwyneth Paltrow and The Muppets!

Don't you just love tv?

Ever since I found out that The Avett Brothers are performing at The Grammys Sunday night, I've been joking with my brother Ben that the only thing that could make the experience more perfect would be if Tim Riggins sat next to me at the show.

So, speaking of TAB and FNL, one of the episodes from season two that I watched last week ended with If It's The Beaches playing while Tyra and Landry kiss. Awww. Two worlds collide, in the best way.

Now, more of things tying together, I think Jasmine and Crosby's pastor/pre-marriage counselor guy from this week's Parenthood episode was Coach Deeks from Whitmore University from FNL. Plus it looks like Crosby and Lyla hook up next week! I'm glad Haddie got the parental ok to date Vince.

Also, I just noticed while watching Coach Taylor get the new Lions up and running -- the Under Armour rep from an early episode in season three of FNL is the guy who is the stay-at-home dad carpenter guy married to the Traffic girl on Parenthood.

OK, this is the last one, and it's kind of lame and I'm probably the only one who noticed, but in the Christmas episode of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, there was a scene in a mall, and Mac and Charlie walked right by who I'm positive was Chris Raab (Raab Himself) from CKY.



p.s. I'm flying to LA tomorrow morning for my fun-filled, star-studded Grammy weekend! See you next week!

The Avett Brothers at The Grammys!

I just found out that The Avett Brothers are playing at the Grammys! With Bob Dylan and Mumford & Sons! And, just to remind you, I'll be there!

I have to go change, just peed my pants!

Really? THAT'S what you spell out?

Lisa, after reading this guys name on his mailbox: His name is Lars Thorwald. L-A-R-S.

That line from Rear Window always makes me chuckle because it's seems so silly - if you were going to spell out one of those two names, wouldn't it be the last name?

Guess what?

Guess who's going to the Grammys this Sunday? Me!!

I'm going to get to be in the same room as Mick Jagger and the Muppets! THE MUPPETS!!

Always champions in my book

I've been knee deep in Friday Night Lights seasons one through three this past week, and when I got to the second to last (that's 'penultimate' if you're fancy/douchey) episode of season three, I had completely forgotten that the Panthers do NOT win State in 2008. I fully expected them to win, and started sobbing uncontrollably when they lost.

You know who took the loss like a true champ though? Tim Riggins. He leaves his cleats on the field in a quiet private moment, and it's beautiful. God bless that guy. I've said it before but I'll say it again -- that show makes me want to be a better person.

Season three has plenty of beautiful Riggins moments. Like when Jason Street and Tim go to New York (episode title: New York, New York) and Tim, realizing he might be losing Jason forever to Erin and Noah, says "Hey J6. I hope you get everything… I hope you get everything you want. But no matter what happens in there, you’re always gonna be my best friend, and you deserve to be happy."
That guy's got a heart of gold, he really does.


I'll always be a 2006 Dillon Panthers State Champs kind of gal, but a testament to how good this show is, is that I love and get wrapped up in the storylines of every character that gets introduced after that point. Looking forward to barreling through season four this next week, and painfully and wistfully looking forward to the fifth and final season when it premieres on NBC later this year. Directvers, keep your mouths shut. I don't want any spoilers.


In closing, Texas Forever! And you know what else? Clear eyes, full hearts, can't lose!

Happy Birthday Rich!

Today is my brother Rich's birthday.

Here's a story about Rich - he used to dress pretty square, but the older he's gotten, the cooler his clothes have gotten. In this picture, he's wearing a braided leather belt. Remember those? He wore it forever, and when it finally broke he was kind of heartbroken. I've had this picture on my fridge for years, and whenever he's in my kitchen he tenderly touches the image of his dear departed belt and bemoans the loss.

Happy Birthday Rich! See you in a week!

Speaking of this picture, I was supposed to go over to my mom and dad's house today to scan in a bunch of old family photos, so the picture for this post was supposed to be of Rich and me as kids, but no, it had to snow AGAIN. I tried three different ways but couldn't ever get out of the neighborhood because I kept getting stuck. Guess I'll just have to sit around here all day and watch more Friday Night Lights episodes. To paraphrase Coach Taylor, that is not my burden, that is my gift.

Happy Birthday Ben!

Dear Ben,

Hey buzz! This post (and let's face it - this blog in general) is for you! This last picture cracks me up. I have some more (better) ones to scan in as part of the great Scanning Old Family Photos project, will try to do that tomorrow.

Hope you have a great birthday. See you next weekend! Love you pal.

Love,

Sister

All good things must come to an end / When one door closes another one opens

We've enjoyed free cable since we moved into this house two and a half years ago, but all the ice and snow from the last few days snapped the outside cable so those days are over.

The last couple days we've been snowed in and due to the no cable situation unfortunately couldn't watch local news to see what was going on with the roads and the weather, but fortunately we could spend hours and hours (and hours and hours) watching Friday Night Lights episodes!

Tomorrow I have to go back to real life, which means I have to spend the next couple days at the courthouse for jury duty. Yuck. It's the most tedious mind-numbingly boring thing I've ever experienced. I'll comfort myself with the thought that I can return home at the end of the day to Tim Riggins.

Timmy Riggs!! #33!! You just don't know how much I love that character and that show.

thirtysomething

Since we're talking about tv, remember the show thirtysomething? There is no reason I should have watched it or felt any connection with any of the characters considering I was in high school when it was on, but I watched it and I liked it. For some reason it always bugged me that Ken Olin was married in real life to Patricia Wettig, because his tv wife, played by Mel Harris, was such a better match for him. Like they seemed to go better/look better together.

real life couple

tv couple

When I worked at Barnes & Noble in Santa Monica, I checked out Mel Harris one time. She is still very pretty, and she was very nice. I don't know why she told me this, but I happen to know that she was dropping in to pick up some books for herself after buying some underwear for her daughter down the street at Victoria's Secret.

I saw a gray-bearded Ken Olin on something on tv recently, and he's still a hottie.

swoon!

Suzanne Pleshette

Speaking of The Bob Newhart Show, how stunning was Suzanne Pleshette? What a looker!

She was outstanding as Bob's wife Emily, as the schoolteacher (and ex-girlfriend of Mitch) Annie in The Birds, and as the little dog lover/big dog hater Fran in The Ugly Dachshund, one of my favorite old Disney movies.

Hi Bob!

I've been re-watching an old favorite, The Bob Newhart Show, for the past week or so. Sometime in the 1990's Nick at Nick played a lot of that show, The Mary Tyler Moore Show, and Rhoda, and I fell in love with all of them. The characters, the stories, the humor, THE SETS! Oh my gosh, the sets.

Right now I'm wishing I lived in Bob and Emily's Chicago apartment. Normally the 1970's is kind of bashed on for the ugliness of its fashion, color schemes and decorations, but I'm totally drawn towards the décor in the sets of these shows.

Particular favorites from The Bob Newhart Show are the wall of art in Bob and Emily's apartment, especially the yellow and white painting, the shelving units in Bob's office and in the apartment, and a pretty red/rusty/orangey painting in Bob's office. The two hobo clown paintings in Jerry the Dentist's office creep me out. I am not drawn towards clown art of any kind.

Bob's office

Orangey goodness!

a to z bookends!

Here's that wall of art in Bob and Emily's apt. The yellow & white painting is my favorite.

Isn't this cool? - it's a painting of Bob and Emily's living room, by Steven Volpe. You can see a bunch of his amazing paintings on his website: http://www.stevenvolpe.ca/index.html

Bill Murray

Lately I've been thinking (a lot) about Bill Murray. I've got it in my head that he would be super-cool to spend time with/hang out with. I have no idea whether or not he's really a nice guy, plus it's HIGHLY unlikely that I'm going to meet Bill anytime soon and convince him that he should want to hang out with me, but it's fun to think about anyway.

Introverts Unite!

Every Myers Briggs personality test I've taken over the past 25 years has classified me as ISFJ, which means I am a sensing, feeling, judging introvert. I'd like to start some kind of Introverts Gang, but we're mostly at home studiously avoiding going out and talking to people, so it's unlikely. I'm going to work on the logo for our leather jackets anyway, just in case.

Here is a great article on what it's like to be an introvert:

http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2003/03/caring-for-your-introvert/2696/

The Perfect Clementine Peel

I don't want to brag, but I peeled this Clementine all in one piece.

Mac & Cheese / Hot Pants

Have you seen this commercial where the husband unexpectedly brings his client home for dinner (oh, no!) and his unprepared wife is able to come through in a pinch thanks to macaroni and cheese?

Literally, the only dish on the table is a large casserole of macaroni and cheese. No side dishes, no salad, just smiles all around.

Are we to believe that this by itself is a suitable dinner for adults? I don't buy it. If anything, it worked out ok because maybe the client will give this guy some business when he realizes that the poor guy can barely afford to feed his family.

It's just strange.

It kind of reminds me of the Mad Men episode where Don brought Roger home for dinner unexpectedly and the two of them ate steaks while Betty pretended to be happy with just salad, explaining that she's a vegetarian sometimes. Then later while Don was in the garage looking for more booze, Roger cornered Betty in the kitchen and said "You can't tell me I'm not giving you hot pants."

Hot pants, that's always makes me laugh.

Sick of Snow

I'm so sick of snow.

Driving into work this past Thursday on not-hardly-cleared-at-all highways made me a nervous wreck. Once I was inside the building and wouldn't have to drive again for another eight hours, I was still a spazzy high-strung mess and couldn't calm down.

It's good to learn things about myself and that day I learned that being nervous makes me extra-special awkward and loud and apt to say and do awkward things, probably loudly.

Labyrinth

Me: Let's watch a movie. How about Labyrinth?

Jonny: You can't make me watch that black magic-filled scarefest!

The Fantastic Ms. Four Eyes‏

I've needed glasses since I was about ten and have worn them every day since I was about 22. The years in between I wore them sporadically, mostly for watching tv/movies, seeing in class, and driving.

Now I fully embrace being a glasses wearer. I love wearing them, which is a good thing because I look WEIRD without them. My friend Gina, also an always glasses wearer, wore contacts on her wedding day and she looked beautiful in her dress and all that, but she didn't look like herself without her glasses.

My glasses only come off when I sleep, shower, or make out. I guess if I ever found occasion to go swimming I'd take them off for that too. Up until very recently I didn't wear glasses for reading, but I must be getting old because now I need them even for reading a book ten inches away from my face.

One time when my old boyfriend (also a glasses wearer) and I were in Las Vegas, a group of drunk frat boys walked by and one of them asked us, really loudly, "Are you guys nerds?" It was kind of bizarre. What a strange thing for a complete stranger to say.

Here's a tip for non-glasses wearers who just don't get it: glasses don't make me a nerd, they allow me to clearly see the world around me. Is sight nerdy? Then call me Poindexter.

Movies that are better than you remember them being

Coal Miner's Daughter
Mask

Surely I have more examples, but these are the only two I'm coming up with right now.

Coal Miner's Daughter - this movie is just perfect. Once when I was extolling the virtues of this movie to some people a few years younger than me, this one guy said "Yeah, my mom used to make me watch that movie." I had to restrain myself from smacking him. Not only did he make me feel old, he also didn't properly respect the movie or his mom's attempt to try to share her excellent taste.

Watch it again if you haven't seen it in a while, and for sure watch it if you've never seen it before. Don't deny yourself the pleasure.

Mask - if you don't think this movie is good, you need to go back and re-watch it. It's good. It's good for a lot of reasons, but right now my favorite little gem within a gem is Sam Elliott's character's "Moustache Rides" t-shirt. Oh, that man and his mustache.


Here's an article about The Magic Movie Mustache of Sam Elliott,

Those Macaroni Rascals!

I'm not embarrassed to admit that I love watching Jersey Shore. I'm enjoying this season in a huge way. So there's that.

OK, you know how sometimes translations from an Asian language to English will result in unintentional comedy? See here for examples, and for some good laughs.

Imagine my joy when I read that the Japanese call the Jersey Shore crew "Macaroni Rascals."

Thanks Japan!

Yo Snickers!

Stuck in my head

I've had this line from the song Nightmare on my Street by DJ Jazzy Jeff & The Fresh Prince stuck in my head for about 24 hours:

He's burnt up like a weenie and his name is Fred!


No kidding, all day. It was humorous the first dozen or so times, now I just need it to leave my head.

Happy Birthday Dad!

Today is my Dad's birthday. This is one of my favorite pictures of the two of us, taken on Father's Day last year. Please note that I'm looking at the camera but he is unable to tear his eyes away from the card he's holding.

My brother Rich, who wasn't even there that day, had mailed my dad this A League of Their Own audio card with Tom Hanks saying "There's no crying in baseball!" My dad loved that thing, couldn't get enough of looking at it and listening to it repeatedly all day long. He's a cute little guy.

Happy Birthday Dad! I love you.

Grown-up foods I wish I liked‏

I feel I would be more of an Acceptable Adult if I liked the following foods:

Asparagus
Strawberries
Lobster
Ribs
Anything involving barbeque sauce
Broccoli
Sashimi
Shrimp

I cannot stand and never eat any of the above foods.

A Twilight Revelation, aka Laura Doesn't Know Anything About Popular Culture‏

By now you've probably heard all about these Twilight books/movies the kids are so crazy for these days, right?

Well, did you know the story is set in present time? For some reason I thought it was set in like the 1800's or something until I saw a clip on tv last month with Peter Facinelli (Mr. Jennie Garth) dressed up like a doctor in a modern-day hospital setting.

Now I know, and knowing is half the battle.

My friend (and yours) The Internet

East Coast weather woes led to an incredibly slow day for me at work yesterday. What did I do instead of my regular work? I internetted, of course!

I love, love, love all the information and images and news and personal thoughts and funny stories that live on The Internet that we can easily access whenever we want. It's just amazing. I read a bunch of blogs on a daily basis, and I love it when the posts there lead to an interesting post on a blog I've never read before and wham bam thank you ma'am, I've found a new blog to read!

Whenever I start to beat myself up about not reading enough books, I remind myself that I read a ton of online content and that makes me feel like less of a slacker. I honestly do get a lot out of The Internet. It educates me about the world, teaches me how to do things, and puts me in touch with people who share their lives, thoughts, images, and personal stories. Though I've never actually met any of these people in real life, I feel like I know a lot of them. I hope that you feel like you know me from the stories I share here.


* To illustrate my point about how much internetting I do, I can't for the life of me remember where I first saw this image online.

** Isn't 'internetting' a fun word?!

Scrimshaw

For the longest time, I thought ships in bottles were called scrimshaws. They're not; they're just called ships in bottles. Scrimshaw is some kind of bone carving.

But doesn't the word scrimshaw just sound like it means a ship in a bottle?

Old Trusty

Jonny wants you to know that before he gave me the fancy and futuristic iCraig alarm clock for Christmas, I had been using the same alarm clock since high school. He says he's doing his part to bring me into the 21st century.


I miss the old alarm clock so much. You get attached to something that you sleep a foot away from for two decades in a row. It was old and old-looking and dusty and certain parts of it (the radio) didn't work anymore, but the alarm clock function worked like a champ. It unfailingly woke me up each and every time I asked it to for the past twenty years. I depended on it for a long time and it never let me down.


I hit that snooze button an estimated 35,000 times over the years.

Sadly, now that I have retired the Realistic Chronomatic 244, it sits on the closet shelf alongside my old doll Timmy. I don't think I've ever quoted Madonna before, but "this used to be my playground" just ran through my head.

But it's The Mack!

Jonny just got me this alarm clock for Christmas.

First of all, how hilarious is the brand name iCraig?

Secondly, everytime I look at it and see the word "iCRAIG" I think of Felisha the crackhead in the movie Friday saying "Craig . . . Craaaaaig . . . Let me borrow your VCR right quick."

Skipping is going to be huge in 2011

You know what the world needs more of? Skipping.

Skipping is a fun, carefree, happy-go-lucky kind of activity and shouldn't be just for kids. I'm going to bring it back. Skip with me!

I vividly remember the day my mom taught me how to skip. We were in the process of moving to a new house and I was in her hair while she was trying to get some packing done. She stopped what she was doing, gave me a quick lesson, and then I skipped myself into a frenzy the rest of the afternoon as she packed without interruption.

Now you wouldn't believe me if I told you, but I could skip like the wind blows. (not really) From that day on, if I was going somewhere, I WAS SKIPPING! (also not really) People would watch me skip by and say "That girl sure is a skipping fool!" (nope)

If the whole dummies thing comes to fruition, I'll be so thrilled I'll be skipping all over town.

Friday Favorite

I love old Prince and Partyup is probably one of my favorite songs by him or by anyone.

This is the last song on Dirty Mind. What a fun, upbeat way to close an album! Thanks Prince!

Boise in the Hood

Back in 1991, when Boyz in the Hood was in theatres, the guy on the Moviefone phone line thing very enthusiastically and confidently pronounced it "Boy Zee in the Hood."

Twenty years later, every time I think of that movie (which is far more often than you could possibly understand), in my head I call it, in my best Moviefone man's voice, Boy Zee in the Hood.

Pajama Jeans!!

Oh my gosh you guys, I am never wearing real jeans again.

It just so happens that I do love stylish sexy jeans and soft comfy pajama bottoms!

I'm the target customer for this product, and I am sold!

The Turdlet That Saved Christmas

A couple of nights before Christmas, my sister-in-law Jill came out of the bathroom demanding to know which one of my brothers had left some poo on the toilet seat.

In true Lamb fashion, everyone hurried in there to check it out. I knew I was the last person to use that bathroom, so I owned up to it immediately. Somehow it was a gross, disgusting find when Jill thought one of the boys had done it, but it became hysterical when we realized that I was the culprit.

We all had a good hearty laugh. I like to think that little turdlet brought our family closer together, just in time for Christmas.



I hope you won't judge me for being an occasionally haphazard wiper.

Dummies are going to be huge in 2011

You know what I want to see more of in 2011? Dummies. Not how-to books, not ventriloquist dummies (Mr. Marbles?) and not dumb people, just dummies.

Dummies being thrown off cliffs, dummies being flailed about like life-size rag dolls in fights, that kind of thing.

It's always hilarious when you see something like that on tv or in movies, but it hardly ever comes up in real life and I think that's a shame.