This is an Outrage!!

I'm disappointed to report that the St. James Carnival did not have funnel cakes. No funnel cakes, no meat on a stick. What kind of operation are they running over there?

Now, I realize that I can pick up some delicious (assumably, I haven't actually tried them) Funnel Cake Sticks from Burger King, or I could go straight to the contrived source and have a full-on carnival-style lunch at a new restaurant in Ballwin called Mr. Harry's Carnival Foods but that's not the point.

When I go to a carnival, I expect funnel cake. I shouldn't even have to be talking about this, carnivals should just know better. St. James the Greater, I'm talking to you. For shame. For shame.

It's sad to think that this year will not be a repeat of two years ago when I ended up sitting a mere table away from Francis Slay, the Mayor of St. Louis, at the carnival while he enjoyed some tasty meat on a stick. My brother Jonny, who was sitting next to me sharing some funnel cake (you know, because we were at a carnival), refers to it as "the time we ate lunch with the mayor."

I had to settle for a snow cone, and even that was a disappointment. I asked for blue, but was immediately jealous when I saw my friend's red one, and a tear came to my eye when I was hit with the regret of not asking for a blue/red mix. When will I learn?

I'm sure people enjoyed the carnival in general, what with the rides, games, live music and Wacky Shack. But all the Wacky Shacks in the world can't overcome a lack of proper carny food. St. James the Greater? You're not so great. Your carnival didn't even smell right.