This is just ridiculous

the accomplices

the culprit

A couple of weeks ago my best friend brought over her magic screwdriver (it is powered like a drill but looks like a screwdriver) and started helping me hang a couple of shelves. We got interrupted after we had done little more than screw in two comically uneven screws. She was nice enough to leave me the magic screwdriver but I'm so lazy that I studiously avoided the entire project for two solid weeks.

Yesterday, an hour before said friend was set to come over to my house for lunch, I was scrambling to finish the job so she wouldn't discover my dirty little secret of being lazy to the point of outright immobility. In my hurry, in a measuring frenzy, I managed to scratch the crap out of my cornea on my pointy plant. It hurt like mad right when it happened, but I let my eye tear for a few minutes while I finished up what I was doing, like the good little trooper that I am.

I was fairly certain that the only medical treatment for a scratched cornea is eyedrops and resting the eye for a while, but I have a pretty severe fear of eyedrops plus I still needed to get the house ready for lunch so I decided to just tough it out.

This morning, my eye still hurt and I complained about it all morning in emails to my little brother. He offered to put the drops in for me, so on my lunch break I picked up some Visine at the drug store. He came over to my desk (we work in the same building . . . and live in the same house, but that's a whole other post) where he quickly learned just how afraid I am of anything going into my eye. Pretty much everyone within earshot learned that about me as I nervously giggled and yelped frightened little yips and yaps for five minutes before he even ever came anywhere near my eye. My eye did immediately feel better after he managed to get a few drops in it, but the relief was temporary so now I'm already dreading the next round of drops tonight when he gets home from work.

Two things to consider when reading this story are 1. I was wearing glasses at the time of the run-in with the plant, so I don't even understand how it happened in the first place, and 2. my friend who was at my house yesterday? She is a Nurse Practitioner and would have been happy to check me out and treat me if only I had mentioned it to her.